I realized that sometimes I'm dangerously passive-aggressive. I'm actually a really irritable person but the things I get annoyed about are kind of insignificant so I don't ever say anything to whoever is bothering me and forget about it a couple minutes after. But it's this act of putting out the little flares of irritation but never really stomping out the real source of the problem that leads me to obsess about it later, replay scenes over and over in my head and then eventually not be able to stand someone for a while after that. Of course, the person never knows that anything is wrong, much less that I harbor these kinds of feelings towards them - which is the dangerous part. Sometimes I feel like a horrible person for thinking certain things but then my evil, cynical side takes over and I consider my annoyance completely warranted and legitimate. Venting is pretty harmful too; I hardly ever do it but once I start it's difficult to get me to shut up and talk about anything else. Maybe it stems from my lack of self-control and discipline that I give in to my impulses and let petty rage take over. It's almost like a guilty pleasure - even while I'm doing it, I tell myself to stop but words just keep coming out and afterwards, as dramatic as it sounds, I end up feeling like I've lost little, miniscule chips of my integrity and goodness as a person that I can never get back. How I picture it, it all builds up, along with any other vengeful, resenting thought that crosses my mind, eventually corroding the edges of whatever keeps me somewhat humane.

I wish I had the innocence and purity and peace of mind I had when I was two years old. How easy life was when you couldn't talk.

Never before have I been SO. RIDICULOUSLY. EXCITED to watch a film.

The best part by farrrrrr about watching Indiana Jones 4 was the awesome, beautiful, eerie, dark trailer they showed beforehand of the movie that I have been DYING TO SEE A PREVIEW FOR since last year when I first heard it was in production and have been googling information about incessantly: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button. It's based on a short story by F. Scott Fitzgerald which I got around to reading today at work (while pretending that the text on my screen was integral to my article-writing). I'm thinking the film is probably going to take a very loose interpretation of it and focus more on the undying, I'll-love-you-even-though-you-look-like-you're-about-to-shrivel-up-and-die aspect of it. The story is basically about Benjamin Button, (Brad Pitt with the help of massive CGI effects) a baby who is born looking like a very very old man. Everyone's shocked but what's even more disturbing is that as the years go on, he gets physically younger and younger. He eventually falls in love with a 30-year-old woman (Cate Blanchett), but of course, she ages normally and hits her biological decline just as he hits his prime. I'm guessing the film's going to narrate the difficulties they both face in trying to stay together despite appearances and illustrate it MARVELOUSLY at that. [Edit: More info to convince everyone that this is going to be of utmost brilliance] It's directed by David Fincher who worked with Brad Pitt on Se7en and Fight Club too and the screenplay's by Eric Roth who also wrote the scripts for Munich and Forrest Gump. Both have excellent visual artistry and Roth's script apparently moved one costume designer on the set to tears. TEARS!! A lot of people think it can already be in contention to sweep the Oscars.. I agree it's a high possibility but I don't want to get TOO ahead of myself in case it turns out to be a big flop (which I seriously doubt because I am 99% positive it'll be amazing).

What made me even more excited was the piece that the trailer used in the background. It's called "Aquarium," a movement in Saint-Saens' famous Le Carnaval des Animaux. After extensive YouTube research, I found out that it was the inspiration for the prologue music in Beauty & the Beast which is my absolute favoriteee part of the movie. I've been listening to both nonstop now and I get the chills everytime I hear the light piano cadences and the high string sounds with the flute meshing into the most hauntingly beautiful music everrrrrr.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=0nGvae6Cih0 (movie trailer in Spanish because the English one was taken down.. totally doesn't have the same effect as watching it on the big silver screen though)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=AsD0FDLOKGA (Aquarium)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=i9i3xWTEKIk (B&B prologue music)

http://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/f/fitzgerald/f_scott/jazz/chapter7.html (original story by F. Scott Fitzgerald.. love his wry, sarcastic humor. I actually chuckled aloud to myself during several parts and then realized that I was supposed to be working so i suppressed further laughter)

I like to share the wealth, so WATCH. LISTEN. READ. and enjoy  Oh yeah, and come join me in theaters on December 19th!!!